Do Opposites Really Attract?: Harriman & Stalin

Think back on a time you truly clicked with someone. Maybe you wanted to help them, understand them, speak to them a moment longer. Often, we hear the feedback that "opposites attract." However, that could not be further from the truth. In reality, studies like the brown-eyes vs. blue-eyed experiment that Jane Elliot infamously performed on her class of third grade students show us that we tend to favor those we view as a part of our in-group. For all of that psychological jargon, there is a lesson that can, surprisingly, be applied to the situation between Harriman and Stalin during their time attempting to negotiate aid during WW2.

Harriman was born into money. His key experiences as a child included joining his father on long expeditions around the world between lessons at his exclusive private school and time spent shadowing his railroad tycoon father. Stalin, on the other hand, was born into a family in poor, rural Georgia. His father was an abusive shoemaker whose shop descended into ruin as Stalin aged. In his youth, Stalin was involved with the Church but this idea quickly disappeared in favor of joining the Bolshevik cause.

I cannot think of a pair more opposite each other. Yes, personal life should not impact politics in an ideal world. But, it does. Indeed, upon the pair's first meeting, Harriman recounts Stalin asking him if he had ever seen Russia. Harriman's response was that he had first come into Russia after illegally wandering in on one of his father's expeditions to Alaska. Stalin's response? That such behavior would not be tolerated in his Russia. Although Harriman and Stalin may have tried to keep their personal lives out of their discussions, even the mention of a childhood "expedition" would have been enough for the pair to identify their incredibly different backgrounds.

How does this relate to Elliot's study? Well, identifying someone as very different to oneself places that other person in your "out-group." Psychologically, we are less willing to help those in our "out-group." We don't click, so to speak. Thus, from the start, a lack of ability to find common ground in upbringing would have doomed the pair to a less cooperative relationship. Hindsight is 20/20. There is no telling how history may have changed if we sent a diplomat with experience living in poverty to negotiate with Stalin. One thing is certain, though, they would have been more likely to understand and want to help each other.